DDFM : 27-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - A) Friday Special

There was grand father and his grandson who always bet for everything

One day they were busy in their garden trimming the plants.

Grandson saw a long earthworm dead nearby a hole.

Grandson said, ”Grandpa, I bet I will put this worm back into hole”. Grandpa replies “ I bet five dollars, I have lot of failure experience in this” with great sadness.

Grandson brings a Hair Setting spray, spray it on Worm as long as it became straight and inserted into the whole.

Struck with the intelligence of the grandson he handed over 5 dollars. With great smile he took the hair spray and went in.

After 30 minutes he came back and hand over another 5 dollars.

But grandpa, you already gave me the 5 dollars.—Grandson.

No this one is from your Grandma.

Moral : When something comes our way we should consider how it might be useful or benefit us.

Proverb : The impossible is often the untried.

English Proverb

DDFM : 26-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

Once a famous shop’s owner made good profits and decided make his clients happy.

He put a notice in the evening showing “BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE, and Offer valid from 9 to 10 A.M tomorrow”

More people saw this and news spread everywhere.

Next day morning, there was long queue since morning 7.30A.M and became restless after 30 minutes. Everyone wanted to get in first and get the best out of the deal.

Big Quarrels started and became quite noisy there.

Around 9.00, there was big push here and there as one tall and stout man wanted to bypass and go to front. Everyone tried to stop him even though his looks were fearful and he was not ready to give up.

This went quite long and it was almost 9.30. That tall man at last could not succeed and went to other corner giving up the fight.

He yelled at crowd “It is already 9.30 and If you don’t allow me to open the shop, Discount time will be over. So you all decide”

!!!!!!@@@@@!!!!!!

Moral: When expectation grows boundless, madness also grows together.

DDFM : 25-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

There was a man with great humour sense with average looks and a beautiful and rich young woman fell in love with him. When her parents met him, they got shocked to see him with kind of swollen duck back

They cannot reject their daughter’s wish and get them married.However they cannot accept what had happened

Everyday her mother has the practice of hugging and kissing her in cheeks

While doing so she always teases her Son-in-Law, ”Such a skinny, beautiful girl has got a duck-back husband”. Her daughter cries inside but could not stop her mother.

As a matured man, he ignored the insults and his love towards his wife increased.

The newly married went to Honey moon and while driving they met with an accident.

Wife’s face got burnt and needed a plastic surgery. Being skinny, doctor cannot find anywhere the right skin for grafting.

At last doctor found out a right option from her husband.

But everyone agreed not to reveal from where the skin was taken.

Once they returned home, his Mother-in-law invited them and found her daughter’s face was looking better which turned chubby.

Next time onwards, whenever her mother used to kiss her cheeks and tease about his ugly duck-back, she cannot stop from laughing aloud.

!!!!!!@@@@@!!!!!!

Moral: The best way to get rid of insults is to ignore them.

Proverb: No revenge is more honourable than the one not taken

English Proverb

DDFM : 24-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

There was an interview for New Police officers recruit in CBI.

Chief called the Interview panel members and said “Tomorrow my Nephew is attending the interview. I want him selected”.

On the First day they had written examinations, next day Group discussion and third day being the oral interview.

Being below average, his nephew suffered a lot to clear his first two levels of examinations.

However to have good aggregate marks the interview panel decided to ask simple questions in the oral interview.

-What is the capital of India

After some thought, he strikes the correct answer

- Good, keep going

-Who is the Prime minister of India

Feeling better he replied ,”Manmohan singh”

Good.

Now the panel bit confident asked a tougher than before

-Tell us who killed Indira Gandhi

Feeling happy, the guy asked for sometime.

Being the chief’s nephew, they said ”Ok comeback and tell us”

He went to chief to say thanks

Chief asked how interview went on

He said, “Yes Uncle. I got selected and already they assigned me the probe of someone’s assassination”

!!!!!!@@@@@!!!!!!

Moral: Having a right person, is a job half done

DDFM : 23-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

Ramu and Somu are thick friends. Even though they are good friends, they disagree to each other beliefs and mostly have arguments.

Last time they had a debate on Existence of Genie.Ramu said it exists and Somu said it doesnot.

Somu went to his village and they did not meet for a week.

After Somu returned they met at Ramu’s house. Somu was looking quite uneasy this time. There was something cylindrical protruding out of his ass and looked quite awkward

As a great surprise, Somu agreed to the belief of Ramu that Genie exists. Ramu being Puzzled asked “Did you see a genie”.

Yes, I found an old lamp at the loft of my Village house. It was pretty but covered with lot of dust.I cleaned it, but I did not notice a genie coming out.

I heard a voice, “My Lord, you released me and what do you need”

Thinking that someone was making fun out of me, I said “No Shit”.

Moral: Pain (Failure) is the result of Ignorance, be alertful

Proverb: Who spits against the wind, spits in his own face.

French Proverb