DDFM : 20-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - A)

In a hot summer,a couple was watching TV news.
They got afraid to listen that a Notorious criminal Escaped from Prison and is wandering in their area.
After the dinner, they changed to their skimpy Nightgowns and went to bed.

Hearing some noise, they smelled some stranger got into the house.

As worried, it was the man seen on TV.

With the Pistol, criminal could easily manage to tie both of them in the bed.

Smiling awkwardly at the husband, he approached the very beautiful woman,went close to her ears and whispered.
She became pale. She showed him the way to toilet.

Quite nervous and sensing what he must have demanded, her husband hissed to her and said,

-Honey we heard he is quite Notorious.
I am damn sure, he must have not seen any woman for many years.
So dont say No to ANYTHING. If he goes for IT, dont resist.
Pretend that you like it to the most.

Honey, wont you feel hurt doing like that?- wife
No honey, it is the matter of life and death -husband

Hearing this wife sighed in relief
'Thank God..
Honey, he told me that he had never seen such a hot guy with a perfect body like you in Prison. So get ready....

#######@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

Moral : To be a successful leader, he shall think first whether he will do which he expect from his followers.

Proverb : Thala valiyum,Pal valiyum thanakku vantha thaan theriyum----Tamil Proverb
(Only who suffers the Head ache and Tooth ache, knows it agony)

DDFM : 12-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

A Chinese walked into a bar in Hollywood
To his surprise he saw his dream man, Steven Spielberg.
He rushed over and asked for his autograph.

Spielberg who was boozing to his upper limits said, "No way. You Chinese attacked our naval base in Pearl Harbor."

Astonished Chinese replied, "Sorry sir you are mistaken,It wasn't the Chinese who attacked Pearl Harbor. It was the Japanese".
Spielberg replied, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese; no difference!"

The Chinese felt hurt and retorted, "Then i too dont need your autograph as a relative of yours sank the Titanic and My grandma was on that ship."

With all the effects of boozing lost,the shocked Spielberg replied, " Are you mad,It was an iceberg that sank the ship and not my relative."

The Chinese said, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg; No difference!"


Moral : Be careful.When you dont like something happening to you, never do it to others....

Friends; In my opinion,Morals were carried in forms of Proverbs to generations from olden days.
It was made in such a way that they easily stay in the minds....
So whenever i get some, let me add them

--------> Basurang itinapon mo, babalik sa iyo"
(The garbage you throw away will return to you--- Filipino proverb)

DDFM : 10-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate U)

Two close friends John and Marcus were having lunch together
John was about to leave on an official tour next day.

Marcus seemed to be more thoughtful.
John could understand that he is more confused in buying a gift for his wife's birthday.

Since Marcus's wife love music,they decided to buy a piano.

John returned from his trip a week later and enquired about the gift.

Marcus told him, " There was a problem,I changed the Piano and bought her a flute"
But,What was the problem to her, It is the best in the category - this is john

Marcus said "She didnot have any problem, I only had"
"While playing Flute, she cannot sing"

!!!!!!@@@@###

Moral : Everyone Makes mistakes,but intelligent one rectifies them.

DDFM : 09-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

A three-year-old boy was waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He saw a pregnant lady who is having her due in few days.

Feeling something different he walked to her.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby.."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
This time she was quite amused since she was talking about the baby and said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

But with a more surprised and shocked look, he asked, "Then why did you eat him??"


Today's Moral : There is always second logic than yours,try to set the frequency match in a discussion.

DDFM : 06-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - A)

A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129?
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?

The priest apologized Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.


Today's Moral : If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

DDFM : 05-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate - U)

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

Being a lady the admin clerk could not resist and rubs it
To their surprise a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, I'll give each of you just one wish and it shall be different from other

Thinking that she could miss right preference, Me first! Me first! says the admin clerk.
I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.
Poof! She's gone.

Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep.
I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.
Poof! He's gone.

The manager was staring at the genie with malice
Could not be waiting any more the genie said 'OK, your chance,
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office, after lunch.'


Today's Moral: Always let your boss has the first say
(Additional note, Boss also applies to YOUR wife)

DDFM : 04-Nov-2009 -- (DD's Certificate U)

John and Paula, had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening
They heard crying coming from the children's room.

Rushing in, they found Tom crying hysterically.
He had accidentally swallowed a 5 pence piece and was sure he was going to die.

No amount of talking could change his mind.
Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a 5pence coin that he happened to have in his pocket
He then pretended to remove it through Tommy's ear.

Tom, naturally was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully "Do it again, Dad!"

!!!!!!@@@@###

Today's Moral : Never act Over smart when you are in trouble

DDFM - 03Nov09 --(Certificate-U)

One man lived his whole life just for earning money all time.
He didnot spend a penny to anyone including his wife.

Once he fell very sick and everyone of his relative were waiting for his demise to plunder his money

However his wife who spent the whole life with him still was very sad since he did not spend money to treat his illness.

One day he called his wife and said 'i dont think i will survive.
But i dont want to leave my wealth as it is my whole life.
Put every penny i earned in a big box and keep it in my coffin'.
"Forget not to leave even a single penny"

Hearing this every relative was tensed.

He died next day and as promised his nice wife put a big box with all his money and buried with him

Her cousin asked, Did you put all money in that?
Yes, I swear-She replied
Are you a fool?Why did you do this?--Her cousin
See, i love him a lot and i wanted to keep the promise.

You know,I collected all his money,Since it cannot accommodate in the box, i put all in my bank account.
I wrote and kept cheque for all money in the Box

####!!!!!!

Moral : When you dont satisfy with what you have, you will never till death.

Proverb : Podhum endra manamae, pon seiyum marundhu -- Tamil proverb
Unless you feel contented with what you have, you will never feel enough.